I’m a big sufferer of left out syndrome. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced it. It’s that sad nagging, feeling you get when everybody is together somewhere you’re not. It doesn’t necessarily have to be somewhere good, like on holiday or at the cinema or on a night out. It can be somewhere rubbish too For instance, if I’m in a restaurant with a couple of friends and they decide to go to the toilet, watching their retreating backs all I can think is how much I want to be going with them too. All the time they’re there, I’ll just be thinking about the fun times I’m missing out on. Perhaps someone will say something really funny and an ‘in joke’ that I’m ‘out’ of will be created, or one of them will break their leg and the other won’t be able to run for help because she’ll need to stay and assist the injured one. Then my friend will die and it will be my fault. On too many occasions to count, I’ve sat in the loos just staring at the cubicle door, wondering why I’m in there, and realising it’s for no other reason than to not be left out if something dramatic happens.
I explain this because tonight people are going out. Because I am incapable of not doing what everybody else is doing I have been slaving away all day to try and get as much work done as possible so that I can justify it to myself. Despite being in the library for nine hours, I cannot justify it to myself at all. But, fortunately, my self rarely needs any better justification than ‘you’ll feel left out of if you don’t’, so sorry degree, but I’m off. Today, I’ll be punning about time, because there wasn’t enough of it.
I’d been writing my essay all morning and struggling to find enough secondary sources, so I was pretty disgruntled when my friend Sam marched in. He asked me how my essay was and I replied ‘Not good, how’s years going?’ His was going alright which made me a bit grumpier. At lunch, I wasn’t sure watch I wanted, wandering around in a days until I eventually just picked up a minute sandwich from the shelf. I returned to my laptop feeling week, but by the time I finished eating I gained more strength, and built momentum. My essay was finally going somewhere, maybe I could finish it. I put my headphones in my eras and decaded to just really get it done, august die trying. Through the window I could see the sun, daylight flooded through into the carrel and I felt like I could achieve anything. I didn’t really achieve anything. But as I said, I’ve been here too long, and I’m going home and going out.
This joke took me about two seconds to find, but I’m trying to fake-tan my legs so…
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too