Today was one of those days when genuinely the best thing that happened was discovering Lipton Ice Tea was reduced to a pound in the union food shop. I think that gives a clear indication of just how enjoyable everything has been, but rather than lament the woes of it in an emotional poem, or lyrical story like a proper creative writing student, I’m going to make it seem like it was one big bundle of laughs in puns. Ha ha ha. In gratitude to Lipton Ice Tea for pushing my day just over the borderline of bearable, I shall be punning about drinks today. I will keep them non alcoholic, firstly because there’s still 30 days left of this thing and I’m sure I’ll need to pun about drinks again at some point, secondly because I want to remove any temptation to go and drown my sorrows.
I woke up this morning feeling far from spritely, I didn’t want to be pepsimistic about the day ahead, but I was sneezy and coffee and cold and I didn’t want to go to my dissertation meeting. I was under no illusion that my draft was fantastic, I was really clutching at straws with my points, and wasn’t even schloer what I wanted to say anymore. Soda only thing I could do was go and ask my supervisor. Although she didn’t completely squash my ideas, she made a lot of red bullet points on the back page, suggesting I keep only a lilttle bit of my original draft, as it had a latte problems. She said I really needed to think about how I wanted to espresso myself, and told me to read the entire mid section of a dictionary of literary terms; all the way from J2O. I slouched to the library; any curiositea I had toward the subject was long since gone. I felt, as I sat staring at my laptop, I’d reached the pint of no return. I wrote a vague paragraph that introjuiced my topic and stared some more. Later, I tried to find a vacant toilet, traipsing up to all the floors, 7 up and 7 down, before I found one that was free. Water disaster of a day, everything seems to have gone ari; bena difficult week.
Here’s a joke. Google was not on form today either:
How does Moses make his tea?