Day Eight: Signalling the End

I know this blog is supposed to be about things I like, but today I’m punning about something I hate. That is technology. I don’t normally hate things, but technology decided it hated me first, so I feel it’s justified. It’s not that it’s all too new-fangled and undermining real relationships and blah blah blah – I enjoy a game of bejewelled, or Facebook stalk, as much as the next person – it’s just how fragile everything is. You spill one glass of water over your laptop and it decides to pack in. You drop your mobile phone onto a concrete path a few times and it decides it can’t handle it. Pathetic. You can throw a bucket of water over me, or drop me three feet onto the pavement, and I’ll get a bit annoyed, but I’ll still bloody work.

This is where Emily ran out of time, as things such as drinking smoothies, eating chocolate and doing her dissertation otherwise occupied her. So, for one time only, you will get a little insight into the world of Dan Stern and what annoys me is not technology but people crying on the stairs in the library (but you’ll still get the technology puns).

The first time I experienced this phenomenon I felt quite bad for the girl. I assumed it was a simple case of heartbreak that had unfortunately taken place in the library. I looked at her and thought o2 be young (that’s is the peak of my punning prowess). I felt bad for her and assumed when I returned to the library everything would have handsettled down. It has since become quite clear that this was not a one off. Every time I walk down the f**king (edited by Emily) stairs I am confronted by a waterslide of tears and despair and quite frankly I have no simpathy. I refuse to believe that everybody happens to be in the library when they receive bad news and if they are they definitely weren’t all on the stairs! It’s only partly due to my lack of compassion that this angers me so much and makes me want to megahertz someone. My main issue is how awkward it is for everybody else on the stairs. There are many boring, quiet places in the library to have a little cry if you are unfortunate enough to get bad news in such a public place. So I really must insist that everybody doesn’t charge to the stairs the second they feel like welling up. The next time I experience this I will signal my displeasure with a look of such hate that it will plug that persons tear ducts permanently. This should be taken as a warning for all those who want to share their unhappiness with the general population of the library. Unfortunately, we all have problems and this is something that should be dealt with privately or in the company of close friends. I can tell you now, you won’t catch this part-time blogger weeping on the library stairs until the sun falls out of the sky and the rabbits conquer UEA and make us their slaves.

 Joke:

I crossed a mobile phone with a skunk, and now the service stinks.

Disclaimer:  The views and opinions expressed in today’s blog are those of Daniel Stern as an individual and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of thefortydayblog.  I have been one of those people crying on the stairs.

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