Make up is a really helpful tool to make your face look like a different face. My real face is a bit strange looking. It has freckles crammed into every available space, except a small clear patch on the left of my nose (maybe this is where my brain breathes from?), some premature wrinkling that we don’t talk about, and a general tendency to look a bit weird at certain times in the day. I prefer my make-up face – it’s more predictable. Less prone to go bright red during any embarrassing situation or develop an angry, central (why is this!?) spot completely out of the blue. It comes with its own problems (the inability to cry without becoming a sad clown lady is one), but generally I find that make up is a good thing. We’ve had our ups and downs, year-eight-bottom-eye-liner-only -phase, and last-minute-night-out-bold-lipstick-choice, were probably low points. But I feel like we’re going steady now, we’re on our way to something good.
Everyone nose, on a Saturday night getting ready to go out with me in the house is a nightmare. Eye lash out at anyone that gets in my way. I stomp around so stroppily the foundations shake, wearing various bits of clothing, going balmy and using language that would make a sailor blusher as I try and find something to wear. I have no idior why it always seems so difficult, and there’s no real benefit to getting so annoyed. I’m so irritating that sometimes Rosie has to get Alice to concealer in her room so I can’t go and demand something else. She’ll watch me from her hiding place in the wardrobe, hoping that she’s not in my eyeliner. If I find her, and she tries to mouth me off cheekily, I give her some lip, glossing over the fact that I have been moody all evening. The highlighter of getting ready is the fact that primer time T.V is on; it’s nothing too eyebrow just a lot of reality shows that give powder to the people; maybelline something like the maX Factor – that always gets me in a better mood to face the night.
Apparently 80% of people who have cosmetic surgery are disappointed by the results.
Which is odd, because most of them look pleasantly surprised.